I bet you've heard of the concept of being poisoned by anger. I'm sure we've all found times in our lives when we gave in to pettiness- let our need to be right triumph over what actually mattered.
And how do we determine what really matters, anyway? Living life for the small things is a concept I believe in whole heartedly, yet I know for sure that being angry about the ways others have thoughtlessly hurt one is self-destructive. Getting angry at thoughtlessness is like getting angry at large concrete walls. In fact, it feels a bit like banging one's head against a large concrete wall, and the results are pretty similar.
I believe in forgiveness, too, but how do you forgive thoughtlessness? It's like forgiving an earthquake. Or a war, more like. I don't know that I think wars are forgiveable things.
So where does that leave us? Soul poisoned, and cranky besides. "You do what you have to, I'm out." may be easy to say, but do we ever really walk away from something that's hurt us this way? How do we let go of this poisonous anger? Just because it may be petty (logically) doesn't mean it isn't real, after all. No matter how righteous we may feel, there's always some self-anger mixed in with these small-important-non-forgiveable things. A feeling of failure is there, yes? Anger, after all, is fear morphed into something dangerous, and failure is pretty terrifying.
If that seems like a knotty negative mess, it is. And my only answer is far too corny to type.
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