Guilt

Something we've been grappling with (by "we" I mean the Young Adult Residents at the Mountain) is the question of guilt. My first reaction to the question of whether or not there is a place for guilt is "NO!". It's negative and manipulative and dis-empowering and generally not helpful, right? The idea that I'd ever try to make someone else feel guilty is horrific- I'm not particularly keen on the idea of making people feel crappy. Even if feeling guilt can move people to action, I'm not entirely certain that the end justifies the means.

Yet I wonder. What are we saying when we accuse people of trying to make us feel guilty? Are we sometimes denying responsibility because we don't want to have to face up to something? Specifically, the YARs have been talking a lot about privilege- white privilege, gendered privilege, class privilege, etc. We agree that some things are privileges that should be rights- like marriage, and access to decent healthcare and education.

Because of my background in anti-racism training I believe that what defines an ally is the willingness to question and give up privilege. I don't think being an ally has anything to do with being safe or comfortable or "politically correct" (gods I hate that term), but about doing what's right and facing the consequences.

You can only feel guilty, after all, if you aren't willing or able to DO anything. I don't want anyone to feel guilty, I want people to acknowledge responsibility. We are ALL responsible for systems of structural violence, like racism, and the right thing to do is to help dismantle those systems. Part of white privilege is the fact that as pale skinned people we don't see how much racism benefits us- we don't see the flip side of it, don't see that the things we take for granted aren't rights but privileges that can be taken away. Homophobia and racism and all the rest hurt ALL of us because when something that should be a right becomes a privilege it becomes something that can be used to threaten us.

That quote about no one being able to make you feel inferior without your consent can be expanded. Guilt is something you do to YOURSELF. Don't feel guilty, DO something. Take responsibility. Acknowledge injustice. Be a hero- don't let that right become a privilege. Don't deny unfairness just because it makes you uncomfortable or because it's easier just to let your privilege work for you. Be brave, for positive change takes courage. Give up being defensive, because that isn't helping anyone.